'I​ ​wanted​​ ​life​ ​to​ ​continue​ ​as​ ​it​ had always​ ​done' - Kildare's Jess backs Very Pink Run

My name is Jess, I am a busy mum of five. I work as a freelance Personal Stylist in Kildare Village. For as long as I can remember, I have always had a love of fashion and style, but how I got to where I am today is another story.

In May 2014, I was diagnosed with invasive lobular cancer.  In an instant, my world was turned upside down. It was a very difficult time in my life, but I realised that I had choices in how I was going to deal with my illness. 

I’ve always been a glass-half-full person, and bringing this positive mindset as I started into my treatment was going to be a game changer for me. I remember my youngest little boy asking me, “mum does this mean you are going to look like an egg?” 

I assured him that wasn’t going to happen so I started my research on looking and feeling my best during my treatment, small things that would make a big difference, if I looked good, I would feel good.

During that time I would watch Trinny in her bathroom posting her new fashion tips and beauty, she was an inspiration. When I began to dwell on life and when faced with my own mortality I wondered if given a second chance, how I might do things differently?

I started with an Event Management Course in 2018, followed by a post-grad in Trinity College. This was something that took me totally out of my comfort zone. The magic of personal growth only happens when we move out of our comfort zone. 

This was truly a journey of self-discovery and allowed me to bring structure to my creative brain and taught me how to bring a business idea to life. Ironically all my projects kept coming back to the business of fashion so I decided to delve deeper into this space and then signed up for the London College of Style Personal Styling course.

The minute I started this course I knew this was so aligned for me.  I couldn’t get enough information about this world, and my passion for fashion became even more alive.  I was on the right path.

Moving into the social media world was another push of my comfort zone and when I thought about doing my first post, I was terrified. This space has grown so organically for me and I love it and have a great loyal following and great engagement. I appreciate each and every follower.

Breast Cancer Ireland Patient Supporter Jess Colivet from Kildare pictured at the launch of Breast Cancer Ireland’s Very Pink Run. Pic: Marc O'Sullivan

Exercise​ ​for​ ​me​ ​was​ ​everything.  ​It​ ​was part​ ​of​ ​my​ ​daily​ ​routine. Running and ​fitness​ kept me​ strong,​ ​focused​ ​and​ ​determined. My​ ​oncologist​ ​asked​ ​me​ ​to​ ​partake​ ​in ​ a​ ​‘Fit​ for Life’​ programme.​ ​

They ​took a​ ​cross section​ of women ​who​ ​were ​undergoing​ treatment, ​women from​ 70,​ ​60,​ ​50,​ ​40,​ 30, ​to​​ ​prove​ ​that​ ​exercise​ ​during​ ​treatment​ ​helps​ ​keep ​​you​ ​mentally ​​and physically ​stronger.​

Women​ ​who​ ​exercise,​ ​are​ ​less​ ​likely​ ​to​ ​be​ ​diagnosed​ ​with​ ​Cancer. Women​ ​who​ ​have​ ​cancer,​ ​are​ ​less​ ​likely​ ​to​ ​have​ ​recurrent​ ​cancer​ ​if​ ​they​ ​exercise. There​ ​was not a​ ​day​ ​during my​ ​treatment ​​that ​I​ didn’t do ​5k ​​-​ that run, ​​walk ​or get dragged by the ​dog.​ It​ ​gave me ​headspace​ ​and made me ​​​​stronger in​​ ​every​ possible​ way.  

I​ ​wanted​ ​my​ ​life​ ​to​ ​continue​ ​as​ ​it​ had​ ​ ​always​ ​done, ​that​​ ​cancer​ ​would​ ​not​ ​get​ in my​ ​way.​ ​I​ ​didn’t have ​time​ ​for​ cancer.​ 

My​ ​greatest​ ​obstacle​ ​was​ ​not​ ​as​ ​everyone ​ would​ ​imagine​ ​-​ ​the​ ​surgery,​ chemo​​ ​and​ radiation.​​ It​ was ​ actually​​ when​​ treatment ​ended. I​​  ​felt ​very ​frightened. It was ​​as​ if my ​life jacket ​had ​been taken​ ​off.​ ​I​ ​was​ ​missing​ ​the​ ​security​ ​of​ ​the​ hospital,​ ​the nurses,​​ ​the​ ​doctors.​ ​It ​was​​ like​​ I was​ getting ​ ​a​ ​pat ​on​ ​the​ ​back​ ​and​ ​being​ ​told,​ ​‘It’s​ ​over!!!’. But​ ​really​ ​it​ ​was​ ​only​ ​the beginning.  

The​ ​rawness​ ​and​ ​reality​ ​of​ ​what​ ​I​ ​had​ ​been​ ​through​ ​began​ ​to​ ​hit​ ​home, especially the​​ ​fear​ of​ my mortality. I​ felt​ ​lonely,​ ​sad​ ​and​ ​depressed,​ ​but​ ​how​ could​​ I​​ ​share​ ​this with ​​anyone? 

Surely​ ​I should​ ​be​ ​delighted​ ​that​ treatment was​​ ​all​ ​behind​ me,​​ and that​​ ​everyone​ ​supported​ ​me.​ ​

It​ ​was​ ​time to ​get​​ on​ with my​ ​life,​ but​​ I​​ couldn’t!​ ​I​​ was in​ some​ kind​ of fog, ​​I​ couldn’t see ​clearly. ​I​ was grieving.​ ​It’s​ ​like​ when​​ you​ lose ​someone​ ​close,​ ​everyone ​is​ ​there​​ for ​you​ during​ the​ removal​ and​ ​the​ ​funeral,​ ​but​ the​ days ​after​ are​ ​lonely dark​ ​days.   

I​ ​started​ ​to​ ​look​ ​at​ myself​​ ​differently.​ I​ ​had​ ​kept​ ​myself​ ​looking​ ​good​ on​​ ​the​ outside​​ ​during treatment,​ now​​ the​​ journey​​ needed to​ go​​ inwards.​​ I​​ ​had ​​been​ keeping​ strong​ ​for ​everyone,​ ​but I had ​to​ acknowledge​ what I’d been ​through. (I found​ great​ comfort​ and​​ ​insight​ ​in​ ​the​ story.) I​ kept​ ​thinking​ ​of​ ​the​ story​​ ​of ​“​​footprints​ in​​ ​the​ ​sand”.

​I’m ​sure​ ​you​ ​all​ ​know​ it. I​ ​began​ ​to​ ​realise that I​ had been carried​ ​by​ everyone​​ ​during ​​those​ dark​​ ​times, ​​and​ that​​ ​I​ ​was​ ​still​ ​being​ carried by​ the ​unconditional​ love​ from​ Brendan,​ ​from​ ​the​ kids,​ from my most​ amazing,​ supportive,​ loving​ caring​ ​group​ ​of friends.​

To​ ​me,​ ​survivorship​ ​is​ ​very​ ​much​ ​an​ ​attitude.​ ​It’s​ ​a​ ​state​ ​of​ ​mind,​ ​a​ ​positive​ ​state​ ​of​ ​mind​ ​no matter ​what​​ the​​ ​outcome. I​ ​learned ​to​ appreciate​ what​ ​I ​have, to ​enjoy life​​ and​ live in the ​ ​moment. I​ ​have​ ​my​ ​life back, but ​now​ it’s​ ​even​ better.​ I​ ​appreciate​ ​every​​ ​day.​ 

​I​ ​don’t ​​sweat ​​the​ ​small​ stuff.​​ Every​ smile​ ​I ​see on ​my​ kids'​​ faces,​​ and every​ laugh​ ​I share ​​with​ ​a​ ​friend ​​is precious. It’s ​​important​ to​​ keep the ​faith, the​ ​hope,​ the​ ​love and​ ​the​ ​humour. ​I​ ​always ​knew​​ ​brighter ​​days​ ​were ahead. 

Participation in the Very Pink Run event is easy – simply register to take part at www.verypinkrun.ie, gather your ‘pink tribe’ by encouraging your friends and family to do the same, then attend one (or all!) of the 3 live events* in Dublin, Kilkenny or Cork - or alternatively do your individual or group run, walk, scoot, wheel or cycle in your own community during the week of the national event (30th September-8th October 2023) – and be sure to share your photos, and videos across social media using the hashtags #VeryPinkRun, #ReasonToRun or #VeryPinkTribe

Follow ongoing event updates on Instagram @VeryPinkRun and @BreastCancerIre on Twitter using the hashtags #VeryPinkRun #ReasonToRun or #VeryPinkTribe

*10k event in Dublin starts at 12noon, 5k event starts at 12.45pm on 30th September at Leopardstown

*10k event in Kilkenny starts at 12 noon, 5k event starts at 12.45pm 1st October at Kilkenny Castle Park

*10k event in Cork starts at 12 noon, 5k event starts at 12.45pm on 8th October at MTU

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