THE WARRIOR'S CODE - Stuck between a Rocky and a hard place

“The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place and it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. It ain’t how hard you hit; it’s about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done.” -Rocky Balboa

IT all began with a seemingly innocent question. Which is the best Rocky film? The Warrior’s Code was away last week on the annual inspection of his Spanish Vinyards and extensive property portfolio, enjoying the annual intake of vitamin D and, of course, anxious to acquire the annual ‘lobster red’ Irish tan. With the juniors tucked up in bed early each night, wine, laughter and song would soon echo around the villa (the Glack men have gone middle class), but every once in a while a heated debate would emerge from a simple question. And for some period of time, when all women folk, knowing their place, abandoned the revelry to leave the Doherty brothers to debate which was the definitive Rocky movie. 1980s Ballykelly

Ballykelly may very well be the takeaway capital of the North West, with Tommy’s Chip Shop the jewel in its late night greasy neon crown, but it also had a wonderful wee ‘video shop’ back in the day. Let me explain to readers of a more tender age than myself. In a time before downloads, DVDs, Blu Rays and the like, a ‘video library’ was of great importance to a local village or town back in the 1980s and 90s. Dust filled shops – a Health & Safety black spot, with smoke usually thick in the air, and local hoods hanging outside may not seem like the most appealing place in the world but to the young Doherty boys from Ballykelly the Video Library was a portal into a thousand different worlds. It was the very definition of escapism. Older readers will remember there was a battle for the heart and soul of your living room back in the day by the forces of VHS and Betamax. According to all known parish records Tommy Doherty was the first man in the Glack and Ballykelly area to have a video recorder. He chose wisely, he didn’t choose Betamax. Anyways, the video player he brought home one night was about the same size and weight as a tumble dryer, but back in the early 1980s it was at the very cutting edge of technology. We were beside ourselves with excitement. There was no local cinema back home when we were growing up and outside of making the dangerous journey up to war-torn Derry City (with all your ‘troubles’), Tommy Doherty’s Ferguson Videostar was the gateway to the wonderful world of film for the Doherty boys. It never cooled. Police Academy, Crocodile Dundee, Ghostbusters, Stand By Me, Blackbeard’s Ghost – all the classics I think you’ll agree, were first enjoyed on that magnificent Ferguson Videostar. We made weekly, if not daily, trips to the video shop with a pound note in our pockets to hire out movies and buy a 10p mix. Seeking the latest ‘must see’ show, we’d anxiously peruse the ‘New Titles’ section (after a cursory glance of the ‘Adults Section’, of course.) And woe betide anyone who returned their video tape back to the Ballykelly Video Library a day late or not fully rewound. The 1980s  were simpler times in Ballykelly. Most folk were on the dole and played football all day long in the Kings Lane pitches (it was our very own field of dreams), then drank in the Cala Blanca all night. Good times. Hours stretched into days, days into weeks and we thought those halcyon days would never end. But when we weren’t playing football we’d ask our Ma for a pound to hire out a film. We were easy pleased and we enjoyed even the dodgiest show. But best of all, without a shadow of a doubt, were the Rocky films. Tommy Doherty was not only a local Tug-of-War champion he was also the young Doherty boys hero. And never moreso than when he would land home with a Rocky film. Rocky and Rocky 2 were watched on consecutive weekends amid tears, cheers and snotters. We were gripped by the story of local Philadelphia street-thug boxer with a big heart as he falls in love and gets a shot at the big time. Ultimately, he goes the distance with world champion Apollo Creed and loses on a split decision. “Your gonna eat lightning, and your gonna crap thunder!” enthused his old school trainer Micky and that’s exactly what our hero did. Rocky 2

The sequel, magnificently named Rocky 2, pits Balboa and Creed back in the ring and this time Balboa becomes world champion. It’s my brother who didn’t pass the Eleven Plus’s favourite, and he loves the scene where the two fighters struggle to get up off the canvas. “Yo Adrian! I did it!” Hard to argue with my brother’s choice But I did. There was better to come. When we finally got hold of a sneaky ‘pirate’ VHS of Rocky 3 in 1982 it was probably one of the defining moments of our young lives. In a time before you could actually buy your own Video tape, we reckon we watched Rocky 3 upwards of twenty times that summer. And why not, it was a classic. After taking place in a novelty ‘Boxer v. Wrestler’ match against Thunderlips, 'The Ultimate Male', Rocky decides to hang up his gloves and retire. In an announcement in front of the newly unveiled Rocky statue, Balboa announces he is hanging up the gloves. Halfway through the announcement, rival Clubber Lang shows up and starts talking ‘Jibba Jabba’, challenging our hero to a fight. Lang, one the great celluloid ‘baddies’ calls out our hero and he shouts over to that delicate little flower Adrian: “Why don’t you come on over to my apartment, I’ll show you a real man!” Those words were too much for an 11 year Steven Dorts to handle, and to this day the thought of Rocky’s Mrs and Mr T romping in some flea-pit flat in the black quarter of Philadelphia still horrifies me. Rocky accepts the fight and loses to Clubber in the second round, after he notices Micky clutching his chest. Rocky’s old curmudgeon trainer Micky dies soon after. After the usual soul-searching, Rocky agrees to go train with his old nemesis Apollo Creed. Cue the training montage, hairs on the back of our young necks and the subsequent victorious re-match against Clubber Lang. Back in the USSR

A cracker, without a doubt, but just below my all time favourite. When Rocky 4 came out I was 13 and a young Steve Dorts can clearly remember Barry Norman reviewing the movie on Film 85 before playing a clip from the forthcoming film. I sh*t my togs with excitement. Apollo Creed gets killed by a dastardly, drug-fuelled Commie. Well, to be more specific, Ivan Drago kills him in the ring, and right after a rousing performance of “Living in America” by the late, great James Brown. Thirsty for vengeance, Rocky leaves his family behind and heads to Russia for some intense back-to-basics training shown in the form of a killer montage. Rocky battles the Ruskie bohemoth, takes a huge beating, emerges victorious and gives a speech to the now pro-American Russian crowd/government officials about how they’re not so different. It was the classic tale of good v evil, steroids v natural training methods, Survivor’s Burning Heart and No Easy Way Out. It was and remains my all time favourite Rocky film. Rocky 5 was a stinker and we’ll say no more about it, while Rocky Balboa, the last in the ‘boxology’, was unnecessary but watchable nonetheless and neatly wrapped up the series. “What’s so crazy about standing toe to toe with someone saying “I am!”?” Rocky explains the allure of the fight game to his estranged son who he eventually wins over. It’s also the line I use when asking my wife’s permission to go out and play 5 aside with a few oul hands in a Monday night game of ‘danderball’. With the new ‘Creed’ movie due in the cinemas soon, (Rocky trains Apollo Creed's son to the title, no doubt) the Doherty boys, now fully grown eejits, are also preparing to come out of our collective retirement for one last shot at the title. Where exactly the latest instalment in this great pantheon of sporting films fits, we look forward to arguing the toss at a later date.